The Only Thing Worse Than Not Getting What You Want is Getting It

We've all experienced wanting something badly, dreaming about it, working hard for it - a promotion, a relationship, a material object. And we fantasize about how amazing life will be once we finally have it. Then we get it, and at first, there's that thrill, that high of achievement and satisfaction. But it often doesn't last.

Why is that? Why is getting what we want so often a letdown? A few reasons:

- Idealization. When we want something, we tend to idealize it, imagining it will solve all our problems and make our lives perfect. But nothing and no one can live up to an idealized fantasy. Reality is always more complicated.

- Adaptation. We get used to almost anything after a while. The thrill wears off. And we're back to our baseline levels of happiness. Psychologists call this the hedonic treadmill - we have to keep seeking new things just to keep up.

- The void. When we obsess over wanting something specific, we often haven't paid attention to deeper issues bothering us. So the thing we thought would make us happy never really satisfies us. There's still a void it didn't fill.

- Responsibility. When we finally get something we've wanted, there is often more responsibility, commitment, or work involved than we imagined. This can lead to disappointment or stress.

- Envy recycled. Once we get one thing, often we start envying others who have something else we now want. There's often no end to desire.

So what's the solution? Want less or want different things? Appreciate what you have? Fill voids unrelated to material wants? There are many philosophies. It seems to me that as its you who has to live with yourself, you may as well learn how to relate to your own thoughts and feelings better. Sometimes we think and forget we are thinking and we end up having emotional responses to things that may not even be real.

Anyway the cycle of striving and dissatisfaction is difficult to escape. We may always believe if only we had that one thing, we'd be content. But time has a way of testing that notion and proving it false. The truth is, when we get what we thought we wanted, often the only thing worse is getting it. I'm thinking of Jim Carrey and Tyson Fury and Mike Tyson. Maybe you need to get everything you want before you realise that that's not where its at?